It's easy to feel guilty when you're taking time to do something for yourself. To one degree or another, we all get get wrapped up in our work, but I think it's especially true with grad school, because it's more than just a job. It is a job, but it is also something we are striving for, trying to learn and accomplish and prove ourselves: something we are trying to earn. The idea that it's ok to step back from that, to take a break and disconnect, especially in our "nose to the grindstone" culture, feels like laziness, that to do anything but push towards this goal makes us unworthy.
I slacked off this past weekend. I got one of my labmates to take care of my cell line, I skipped the lab meeting, I didn't go to the seminar Friday afternoon. I got in my car Friday morning, and I drove all the way to other side of the state. I didn't bring any papers or notes or data to work on. I did bring my laptop, but only for uploading pictures and playing games. I refused to check my email, and I didn't respond to any texts from anyone I work with. The only thing even remotely related to school or work that I did from Friday until Monday was when I was getting lunch with a friend of mine at another university. She recommended a fellowship I should apply for. I had her email the details, and promptly did not look at them all weekend.
So what did I do with these four days of indolence? I went to a convention. Not a conference with stuffy academic presentations followed by networking at the hotel bar (not that I didn't frequent the hotel bar), but a science fiction and fantasy convention. They still involve award winning authors, but instead of Nobel Laureates, cons draws the likes of David Weber, Tamora Pierce, and Todd McCaffrey. Conventions also draw musicians, artists, gamers, and cosplayers. It's a weekend long festival of geekery and nerdom of all stripes.
I went to panels where we argued about how Superman's "x-ray vision" would work, and others where we just talked about the humor, both intentional or otherwise, in shows like Star Trek. I spent hours in the dealers room buying books directly from the author or picking up neat swag (I got a cool lapel pin shaped like Mr. DNA from Jurassic Park. It's going on my labcoat). I spent more hours in the auditorium listing to amazing musicians perform things ranging from Emily Dickinson inspired heavy metal to a ballad about tabletop gaming and even an upbeat a capella number about living with anxiety. I managed to avoid fan-girling too much when one of those artists recognized me by my online handle, and completely embarrassed myself later that same night by forgetting how to sing "What Do You Do With The Drunken Sailor" during open filking. (I may have just a little bit drunk myself at the time). I walked around most of the weekend dress as a character from one of my favorite books, in a long coat and carrying a spear I spent way to many hours 3D printing and painting and sanding and repainting to get right. Best of all, I got to spend time with some of my dearest friends that I only ever get to see in person at events like this.
Those of you who have followed me this far maybe wondering what in the seven hells any of this has to do with grad school? The answer is this: Absolutely nothing! That's the whole point. I stepped back, I unplugged, and I spent the weekend doing something that I absolutely love. Don't get me wrong, I am a scientists through and through. It's who I am, it's what I do and love, but anything done long enough without a break eventually wears on you. In college and academia we usually think about burnout around big stressful events like finals, quals, or defenses, and those things do absolutely take a lot out of you, but so do the the day in day out struggles to meet deadlines, collect data, keep up with the current literature, and be constantly planning for the future. You can and will get burnt out even absent some major trial or crisis. That is the worst type of burnout, because unlike finals which, pass or fail, will eventually be over, the every day just keeps on going day in and day out.
Self care isn't weakness. It is just as important as eating, sleeping and studying. And self care is more than just staying in bed all weekend (although it can certainly be that sometimes too). For me, self care meant unplugging from work, trusting my friend enough to let her cover for me, and spending the weekend with some of my favorite people doing something of our favorite things. When I got back, I didn't feel behind on my work. I felt energized. For the first time since well before New Years, I was excited for this semester's classes. I was ready to engage with challenging new material. Not just that, but I had ideas for how to address some of the problems I've been running into in my current project, and even some brand new ideas for other projects. I am better at my work because I took time away from it.
Take care of yourselves, even if it means putting down the data
Faxe MacAran
Twitter: @TheMacAran
I slacked off this past weekend. I got one of my labmates to take care of my cell line, I skipped the lab meeting, I didn't go to the seminar Friday afternoon. I got in my car Friday morning, and I drove all the way to other side of the state. I didn't bring any papers or notes or data to work on. I did bring my laptop, but only for uploading pictures and playing games. I refused to check my email, and I didn't respond to any texts from anyone I work with. The only thing even remotely related to school or work that I did from Friday until Monday was when I was getting lunch with a friend of mine at another university. She recommended a fellowship I should apply for. I had her email the details, and promptly did not look at them all weekend.
So what did I do with these four days of indolence? I went to a convention. Not a conference with stuffy academic presentations followed by networking at the hotel bar (not that I didn't frequent the hotel bar), but a science fiction and fantasy convention. They still involve award winning authors, but instead of Nobel Laureates, cons draws the likes of David Weber, Tamora Pierce, and Todd McCaffrey. Conventions also draw musicians, artists, gamers, and cosplayers. It's a weekend long festival of geekery and nerdom of all stripes.
I went to panels where we argued about how Superman's "x-ray vision" would work, and others where we just talked about the humor, both intentional or otherwise, in shows like Star Trek. I spent hours in the dealers room buying books directly from the author or picking up neat swag (I got a cool lapel pin shaped like Mr. DNA from Jurassic Park. It's going on my labcoat). I spent more hours in the auditorium listing to amazing musicians perform things ranging from Emily Dickinson inspired heavy metal to a ballad about tabletop gaming and even an upbeat a capella number about living with anxiety. I managed to avoid fan-girling too much when one of those artists recognized me by my online handle, and completely embarrassed myself later that same night by forgetting how to sing "What Do You Do With The Drunken Sailor" during open filking. (I may have just a little bit drunk myself at the time). I walked around most of the weekend dress as a character from one of my favorite books, in a long coat and carrying a spear I spent way to many hours 3D printing and painting and sanding and repainting to get right. Best of all, I got to spend time with some of my dearest friends that I only ever get to see in person at events like this.
Those of you who have followed me this far maybe wondering what in the seven hells any of this has to do with grad school? The answer is this: Absolutely nothing! That's the whole point. I stepped back, I unplugged, and I spent the weekend doing something that I absolutely love. Don't get me wrong, I am a scientists through and through. It's who I am, it's what I do and love, but anything done long enough without a break eventually wears on you. In college and academia we usually think about burnout around big stressful events like finals, quals, or defenses, and those things do absolutely take a lot out of you, but so do the the day in day out struggles to meet deadlines, collect data, keep up with the current literature, and be constantly planning for the future. You can and will get burnt out even absent some major trial or crisis. That is the worst type of burnout, because unlike finals which, pass or fail, will eventually be over, the every day just keeps on going day in and day out.
Self care isn't weakness. It is just as important as eating, sleeping and studying. And self care is more than just staying in bed all weekend (although it can certainly be that sometimes too). For me, self care meant unplugging from work, trusting my friend enough to let her cover for me, and spending the weekend with some of my favorite people doing something of our favorite things. When I got back, I didn't feel behind on my work. I felt energized. For the first time since well before New Years, I was excited for this semester's classes. I was ready to engage with challenging new material. Not just that, but I had ideas for how to address some of the problems I've been running into in my current project, and even some brand new ideas for other projects. I am better at my work because I took time away from it.
Take care of yourselves, even if it means putting down the data
Faxe MacAran
Twitter: @TheMacAran
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