Now returning after an unplanned three month hiatus, this short research presentation will be an overview of what has happened over the months since my last power, and a quick glance at where this project is heading over the next several. Dave, if you can get the lights, oh, and does anyone have an HDMI cord so I can connect my laptop to the projector?
As I mentioned in my last post, just short of three months ago, we had transitioned to online classes, and were starting to get information about our qualifying exam. At about the same time, most of our labs shut down, or were reduced to critical employees. By definition, 1st year grad students doing rotations were not critical employees (although a couple of labs side stepped their way around that). This obviously threw a kink in a lot of plans. We usually do three rotations, and from those choose a lab to do our thesis work in. The third rotation just didn't happen. Now, by this point, most of us knew where we wanted to go, and were just picking up extra skills and networking connections through this last rotation, but a few of my colleague did not have a set lab. One, a close friend who has been so supportive of our entire cohort through a major project (note to self, write a post about that, and group projects in general). They didn't have a lab set yet, their first two rotations just didn't fit. It happens that way sometimes. Fitting in with the people and culture in a lab is as important, if not more so, than the specifics of the research you are doing. I spoke with them about it, and our program administration was very supportive. I'll complain endlessly about this program because I like to complain, but they do give us a lot of support. In my masters program, they just left us to figure things like this out on our own.
Anyway, that was a long walk to, I passed my qualifying exam (I'll write a-whole-nother about that later), and I am now officially a member if a lab. Over the last few weeks, I've had a bunch of one on one meetings with my PI1 and with another collaborator. I have a project, with simple enough goals to start out, but with lots of room to grow and build. It has a lot of potential, and I'm excited for it. What I'm less excited for is how I'm still stalled getting anything started. Much of the work I was supposed to do during my third rotation, while not directed towards my thesis project, would have have contributed to a figure in a paper that the lab is trying to get out. I'm still responsible for generating that data, and the entire paper is held up until I can get it out, but I can't generate that data until I can get back into the lab, and right now the timeline for that looks like it'll be mid August. So, I sit through lab meetings listening to people schedule experiments and set up orders and reserve lab space and microscope time, and I'm just here twiddling my thumbs. Or at least, that's what it feels like.
Anyway, that was a long walk to, I passed my qualifying exam (I'll write a-whole-nother about that later), and I am now officially a member if a lab. Over the last few weeks, I've had a bunch of one on one meetings with my PI1 and with another collaborator. I have a project, with simple enough goals to start out, but with lots of room to grow and build. It has a lot of potential, and I'm excited for it. What I'm less excited for is how I'm still stalled getting anything started. Much of the work I was supposed to do during my third rotation, while not directed towards my thesis project, would have have contributed to a figure in a paper that the lab is trying to get out. I'm still responsible for generating that data, and the entire paper is held up until I can get it out, but I can't generate that data until I can get back into the lab, and right now the timeline for that looks like it'll be mid August. So, I sit through lab meetings listening to people schedule experiments and set up orders and reserve lab space and microscope time, and I'm just here twiddling my thumbs. Or at least, that's what it feels like.
No one is judging or pressuring me, it's just me putting pressure on myself, but that doesn't make the pressure any less real. Anyone who's gotten this far in school is used to being one of their own harshest critics. I keep reminding myself that I am doing work, I'm pouring through journal articles, learning about the system I'm going to start working on, and am responsible for putting together purchasing information for a new piece of equipment. Of course, that's it's own stressor. I'm looking at quotes for an instrument that will cost our lab more money than I will make from my stipend in the entire (estimated) 5 years I'll be in this program. That's crazy to me. Who am I, what experience do I have that qualifies me to make a recommendation about spending that much money? Of course, the answer is, I'm the one who knows what we're gonna use it for, who knows what features will be most helpful to the person using it (me) and how that impacts the work I have planned. But it's still crazy that I'm being ask to make a decision on how to spend $100k. I've spent a few years working odd jobs before going to grad school, including some where I was directly responsible for peoples' lives and safety. Even with that experience, this still overwhelms me every time I let myself think about it.
On that note, be well, stay safe, wear your mask
On that note, be well, stay safe, wear your mask
and always look at the purchase quotes (what is my life come to?)
Faxe MacAran
Twitter: @TheMacAran
1) PI stands for Principle Investigator. This term is particularly relevant in grant language. The PI is the person who is responsible for the grant money, usually the head of the lab.
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